Too Late

I wrote this one a year ago :) 

The sun has set upon my day, it's cold and I can see, 

That there will be a tomorrow, but it's too late for me. 

I finally embraced something, and reality stepped in, 

But now those days are older and I can't be where I've been. 

My heart was hurt with past scars that prevented love to be, 

But looking back on those who loved, it's now too late I see. 

Their love was never failing, but it failed nonetheless, 

Because I was not open, and my heart a great big mess.

And now one more scar indeed has been slashed upon my heart, 

Because one day can make the difference between whole and torn apart. 

As butter slips right off the toast, and  sugar falls in tea,

So my love has slipped away, and it's too late for me.....

Too Late

The sun has set upon my day, it's cold and I can see, 

That there will be a tomorrow, but it's too late for me. 

I finally embraced something, and reality stepped in, 

But now those days are older and I can't be where I've been. 

My heart was hurt with past scars that prevented love to be, 

But looking back on those who loved, it's now too late I see. 

Their love was never failing, but it failed nonetheless, 

Because I was not open, and my heart a great big mess.

And now one more scar indeed has been slashed upon my heart, 

Because one day can make the difference between whole and torn apart. 

As butter slips right off the toast, and  sugar falls in tea,

So my love has slipped away, and it's too late for me.....

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

This little poem just came to my heart today. I know it's not the most inspiring, or happiest piece ever written :p, but if you are feeling this way, I hope it at least brings you a little comfort. 

Grace and peace to you! And God bless! :)

Run 

I stand in the shadows, the same old routine. Thoughts rush through my head and exit my brain at the same record speed. My body feels numb and heavy, and my brain feels the same way. They say patterns aren't good for your brain, they say too much of the same thing can harm us. Why then do the same people turn around and expect us to work in patterns and figures?

My heart thumps slowly, at a methodical pace. “That’s good” says the world, “That’s normal”, but I can’t believe it. How can anything that makes you feel so empty inside be normal? There has got to be more, God created us to be more. Somehow we've got to find a way to really live. Words. Just words, coursing through my brain. I can speak change, but my systematic body can’t seem to live it.

I lift my eyes, and imagine that life before me; a life with no restrictions on who I am, and the dreams that God put on my heart. Dear God, it’s beautiful, why can’t I get there?

Run. A voice clicks in my head. I can’t.

Run. My heart starts to beat faster as my breath quickens. But I can’t, what will they think?

Who cares? The voice is louder now, and more commanding.

Time slows, and I gulp down my fear as I take the first step. It’s the hardest thing I've ever done, I know people won’t except this. Second step, I feel a million judging eyes on the back of my neck. Third step, I can’t go back, I have to keep going. Four, Five, Six, the steps are getting easier now, quicker. Pretty soon I’ve gone 10 steps, then I loose count. There is only me now, and the thing I want at the end of a long road. It seems so far, so I pick up my pace.
Pretty soon, I’m jogging, I feel the air beside my ears, blowing my air out of my face so that I can feel the warmth of the sun on my skin. I feel free. But it’s not enough, somehow I’m still chained to what I left behind. I look back, only for a moment, but in that moment I loose sight of the path, and trip over an obstacle in the road.
When I rise to my feet I brush off the dirt and collect my thoughts. I can taste blood, and realize that a small trickle is playing it’s way down my lip. I raise my head and lock my eyes on the goal. I remind myself that  I can’t look back, even for a second. I have to remember what I’m running to, instead of constantly reminding myself what I’m running from.
A deep breath escapes my lips, and I start on the path once more, slowly increasing my speed, and determination. The goal only seems to be getting further away so I start running, sprinting, lunging towards the finish line with everything I have. I’m running so fast that my side vision blurs, and all I can see in what’s in front of me.

For a moment, I feel completely weightless, almost as if I were just a puff of smoke wafting through the wind., I can’t even feel myself breathing. My spirit feels like it’s outrunning my body now that it’s finally free. My goal is getting closer, I can see it…I can almost touch it.

This atherial feeling last for only a few short seconds before the time, and distance catches up to me. My heart feels like it’s going to be ripped out of my chest, and my breath is all sucked out of my body. My legs feel feeble, and my mind wants to quit. I need to stop, maybe I should go back to the safety of being like everyone else.

Run. My body is shutting down, I can’t do this.

You can. 

My body is screaming at me to quit, but I can’t. Something inside of me won’t let me, so I condense all of the energy my body still possesses into one last, intense, wild leap for the finish line.

And I’m there. I finally made it! I see my dreams around me, soothing my eyes with bright, fulfilling colors. I feel alive. I look around, absorbing the victory of this moment. The lightness of my heart can’t be matched. Again, I see eyes, looking at me like I’m crazy for not following them. I smile, wave, and move on. But to my delight, in other eyes I can see the same freedom as I feel in my heart right now. They are the people who, like me, decided that their dreams were more important than what people expected. They were willing to run, to take a chance.

 Running was worth it.

~I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.~Philippians 3:14

Aurora, Colorado, 12:30am.

It was twelve o’ clock at the Century 16 movie theater in Aurora Colorado when families and friends packed into the movie theater for the much-anticipated Batman sequel. The large cinematic room smelled like popcorn, and fans of the series; the ones who dressed up like characters from the film, as well as the slightly less-dedicated,  chatted happily about the film that was about to start. If you’ve ever been to a midnight showing, like I have, you can imagine the excitement mounting. The midnight showing means that you're special, it means your one of the first to see the heroic saga unfold.. Instead, what the audience witnessed was a real-life nightmare.

I can almost imagine sitting in that theater watching the movie intently. And I can almost feel the horror when a man called James Holmes strode into the front of the theater, clothed in a gas mask and bulletproof vest, and threw two smoke canisters down the aisle before opening firing on the audience members. The only word to describe James Holmes as he calmly began to shoot at random people in the crowd, including a  3-month-old boy, is “evil”. My heart struggles to comprehend how a human being can be so cruel, selfish, and demonic. By 12:30, 10 people had died and 61 people were seriously injured, over the next night, two more died.

When I hear stories like this, my heart feels sick. I think back and remember what I was doing from 12-12:30; surfing the internet. Something small, something unimportant, something those 12 victims will never be able to do again. I think the reason this hit me so hard, is because it was so unexpected, what about all of the dreams that those people had? Whenever a tragedy like this happens, part of me always asks; “What if”. What if I had been in that theater with my family? The thought sends shivers down my spine. It could happen. It reminds me how wonderful and beautiful the gift of life is.

Jessica Redfield,  a 24-year-old aspiring sports writer, asked herself the same question a month before she went to the Colorado midnight premiere. In her blog, “A Run on Thoughts”, she describes the near-death experience she encountered only a month ago when she went to get susi at the mall.

“When I arrived at the Eaton Center mall, I walked down to the food court and spotted a sushi restaurant. Instead of walking in, sitting down and enjoying sushi, I changed my mind, which is very unlike me, and decided that a greasy burger and poutine would do the trick. I rushed through my dinner.” 

Jessica explains that after this strange change of plans, she found out that if she had chosen Sushi, she would have been right in the middle of a tragic mall shooting that happened only minutes after she was done eating. She goes on to finish her blog post with these inspiring words:

“I say all the time that every moment we have to live our life is a blessing. So often I have found myself taking it for granted. Every hug from a family member. Every laugh we share with friends. Even the times of solitude are all blessings. Every second of every day is a gift. After Saturday evening, I know I truly understand how blessed I am for each second I am given.”

These words touch my heart deeply. Jessica inspiring thoughts give us a reminder of the preciousness of life. She had no way of knowing that only a month later, she would be one of the fatalities of the Aurora Colorado shooting.

I pray continually for her family, and the other families that have been devastated. I pray that God would spread His peace in their hearts, and that they will know that He is still with them, even though the devil is trying to break them apart. The legacy’s that God put in each one of the victim’s hearts lives on in the people who love them, and the individuals that they have touched. I can speak for myself in saying that Jessica has changed my life, and I intend to live my life like the precious gift it is.

 I don’t know how long I have left, all I know is that I have this ONE moment. A precious moment to be thankful for every blessing in my life, to make a difference, and to love unconditionally.

Verse of the day: "The Lord is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me?" (Psalm 118:6)

Dreams.

     
        Hey guys!
       I just found this poem that I supposedly wrote a few years ago, and I had to share it with you.
       I hope it makes you smile! :)

                                 DREAMS

        Dreams are like stars, bright in the sky, too high and too many to touch,

Some people have a whole sky of stars there, and others don’t have that much,

But God sees them all floating up in the sky, and God knows the heart of each one,

And to God all the dreams in His majestic night sky        are as big and as bright as the sun,

Some might be brighter and bigger and clearer, but they’re all as important to Him,

Even the smallest and dimmest of stars has a chance to sparkle, and win!

So reach for your dreams, don’t let them fall, make them bigger and brighter each day.

But always remember Who gave you the dreams, and promised to show you the way.

So know that you’re special! And anything’s possible, if you just trust and believe,

And God will continue to make your star brighter, and a beautiful life He will weave.


       Verse of the day: Matt 7:7-9 "Ask and it will be given to you;" He said, "Seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."




        BE BLESSED! <3

Behind the Yellow Brick Road

For the past six weeks I have been blessed to be rehearsing for The Wizard of Oz (an original musical) at Lifehouse Theater, with the extra pleasure of being in it with my brother! We opened our show this last weekend, and Oh boy! What an opening! So far our show has consisted of sprains, flying shoes, and amputations...okay, it's not as bad as it sounds! I promise. =P

It may look easy, but theater is, and always has been a high contact sport. But to me, it's definitely the most interesting to watch (Sorry football fans!) and fun to be a part of . This production especially has been more of a sport for me because I have the opportunity to play a very physically demanding part which requires me to wear thick knee pads, shin guards, and wrist guards. Any guesses? No, I'm not an extremely padded Dorothy, but her trusty sidekick, Toto.

When I tell people that I'm playing a dog they usually respond with something like "Why don't they use a real dog?". Well gee, thanks guys =P....But to be honest, I thought the same thing when I saw the cast list. So why doesn't Lifehouse use a real dog? Because in their original version of The Wizard of Oz calls for Toto to do things that would take a regular dog months to learn like staged fighting and choreography. Not to mention being onstage for that long would be hard on any poor puppy. So far, playing Toto has been challenging in all aspects. But once you get past the fact that you're "not a human" anymore, and the soreness of being on your hands and knees all the time, it's all kinds of fun! Dogs are such odd, silly little creatures. :)

Our opening weekend was certainly interesting, but we had a great audience of Lifehouse alumni supporting us. During the run-through (before the actual opening show) our Dorothy sprained her ankle, and we had to switch out her 5-inch silver shoes for flats (which didn't like to stay on her feet). In a few other shows this weekend a trap door fell on my poor brother's head while he was operating it, and a munchkin stepped on my tail, causing it to break off (thus, the amputation. Poor Toto). C'est la vie! Those are only some of the obstacles you have to dodge in live theater, and that's one of the reasons which makes it so wonderful. Theater is just like life, you never know what is going to happen! :)

So far, the experience has been wonderful! All throughout rehearsal our production team has been SO supportive, and not only have been able to hang around some of my favorite people, but I've met a lot of new favorite people. :)
By far, the best thing about Lifehouse Theater has to be that it's centered in Christ. So even though we preform drama, there is hardly any large drama behind the scenes, and most egos and divas are checked at the door. In all things we should be striving to use our talents to bring glory to God, not ourselves. After all, he's the one who gave you your talent, and nothing feels better than using your talents to bring happiness to others...even if your talent happens to be playing a dog. :)

Verse of the day:

"As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace." 1 Peter 4:10

Fact: You're Beautiful

When asked, I'm the first one to admit that I'm not the loveliest person on the face of the earth. My eyes are too small, and my nose is too big, my ears always seem to stick out of my hair like some kind of elf, and my whopping '5"1 height is far from supermodel status.
Pretty much everyone can find at least a few physical traits that they wish they could change. But why?  When we look in the mirror all we can see are commercials flashing before our eyes along with that cheesy selling voice raving all about products that are guaranteed to make you more gorgeous: "This new shampoo makes your hair radiant!", "Wear this new lipstick and you'll be beautiful!", "Shop from our clothing store and you'll  be loved everywhere you go".
 Radiant, Beautiful, Loved.....Such wonderful words. Meaningful words. And we pass them up for ourselves to describe soap? ...Please.
Did you know that somebody has already used those words to describe you?

~Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. (Psalms 34:5)

~He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

 ~The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. (Jeremiah 31:3)

See what I mean? You are radiant when you seek God's will, not because you buy new lip gloss. You are beautiful because God made you. You can never NOT be beautiful, because you are His. And you are loved, not for what you do, but for who you are! It's kind of tremendous if you really think about it. :) You are always loved, and pre-designed to be lovely. 

So the next time you look in the mirror, do yourself a favor and tell yourself the truth. You're gorgeous...and that's a fact! :)